
Dear Kitty Mowmow,
Let me make one thing perfectly clear. Granny and Pa-paw like squirrels (and I don’t mean fried with gravy). They have fed birds and squirrels for decades, and tolerated the mess and waste the squirrels made as the furry-tailed tree rats tossed perfectly good bird seed mix from the bird feeder onto the ground as they picked out only the sunflower seeds. While they always have a dog who yaps at the squirrels at every opportunity, the dogs are only allowed to harass the squirrels from the end of a leash, providing exercise without danger. They never had a cat, nor tolerated visiting cats poaching in their yard. (Amazing what protection a Super-Soaker can provide where felines are involved.) That is, until Boo-Boo moved next door.
Now, Boo-Boo is not one of those “dogs in a cat suit” that dog-lovers sometimes refer to in order to explain/deny their new conversion as a cat-person. Boo-Boo is a rather ugly female tortoise-shell colored cat, who likes people, provided she knows them and is in the mood to be attended by them. But she is not attached to any one person like dogs are; rather she is attached to her home next door. Which was unfortunate, since her owners moved away, leaving the house and cat food bowl empty. Boo-Boo refused to consider the new house home, and returned to her territory.
As you may have guessed from her name, Granny is the type of person who cannot bear the idea that anyone or anything is hungry. No one ever visits her without being offered cookies, cake, pie, coffee, or a merely a complete meal. She still does not consider herself a cat owner, but Boo-Boo’s cat food dish now resides on Granny’s patio, and is filled twice a day. When Granny goes out for a walk, Boo-Boo follows along. But Boo-boo still “lives” next door, in spite of the fact that the empty house is currently undergoing extensive renovation. She checks out all the work daily, though she is a bit too wary of the workmen to allow herself to be petted by them.
Problem is, Boo-Boo likes squirrels, and is rather adept at catching them. So far she has a verified tally of three. At least she does not waste them. She eats them, apparently skin and all. Recently she came running up to greet Granny and Pa-Paw, looking for all the world as though she had grown a Rip Van Winkle beard overnight. Closer inspection proved it to be a squirrel tail protruding from her mouth and dangling down her chin. Presumably the rest had already been swallowed. This has produced quite a quandry for Granny and Pa-Paw. Is it really fair to feed visitors and then allow another guest to turn them into lunch? Or do they forcefully evict a friendly neighbor who refuses to leave her home, simply because she eats what she sees as a mobile banquet? Especially when the only sure way to keep Boo-Boo away probably involves a permanent change in her breathing? So far Boo-Boo has won out, and Granny and Pa-Paw seem to pretend to themselves she only catches “strange” squirrels who have wandered into the territory uninvited, while those who actually live on the property know to watch out for her.
I am sure this is not a static situation–will keep you posted about further developments.
—Chaos Bard